I was sick and exhausted to the point where I slept for much of it. I'm under a lot of stress with school and a recent dire situation in my family. I had been keeping my phone close but missed the calls because I was sleeping. Then when I was finally able to pick up my phone I got chewed out because I hadn't picked up. I was accused of stuff I didn't think fit me. And it's crazy cause it seems like this party only wants me contacting them for updates. I'm frustrated and hurt! I am hoping things will cool down and I can patch things up.
I needed to vent and perhaps some advice from someone who is not so close to the situation or close to me per say because at this point it just seems like I'm told what I want to hear.
I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
I have had some issues with family in the past, too. Misconceptions and miscommunications...it's tough.
Yea, tell me about it! What did you do to fix the problem Lady Phillippa?
Same here... unfortunately for me sometimes there's no "fixing" it per se. You just have to tell the truth and say in boldness. I'm exhausted Life can wear a person down sometimes and with all this personal stuff going on to boot I had to rest or risk being very very ill. So, please be patient with me and I WILL get back to you as I can. If they can't accept that you just have to let it blow over and hope with time it gets better and they get over it. Unfortunately, sometimes it's not you that did anything wrong and the other person isn't going to accept their role or responsibility in it.
I hope things get better though. I know family can be a roller coaster ride at times.
Thanks Shawna! I've been told I need to be more bold lately too, LOL!
YW! I know it can be tough. I'm the oldest of 7 and you would think I have it down at my age, but I still struggle with that. You have to figure out how to stand up for yourself but in love towards family. So they know it's not personal to them but for you to take care of yourself first to be able to give more of yourself. {{{huugggs}}} sweetie!
I agree with Shawna that the problem doesn't usually go away. For me the problem never went away because the other person is notorious for holding grudges. Once this person gets a certain idea about you (even if it's wrong)...forget it. I spent many years trying to get this person's approval, and it meant that I allowed myself to be walked on. I have only just recently said that I am willing to make the relationship work, but only if there is a little give and take on BOTH sides, and not just me giving all the time. Nothing has really changed, but at least I know that I stood up for myself. So, I also agree with being bold. It is tough, that is for sure!! But then at least you know you did what you could for yourself.
Thank you Lady Phillippa!
Be strong & hang in there. One thing that helped me a lot was talking to a friend who had VERY similar issues with a family member. It made me feel like I wasn't so crazy after all. I'm not the only one who has to deal with this! So, vent away here if you need to! I totally understand & I'll bet plenty others do, too!
I definitely understand... things probably never will be totally great, but the benefits of having physical distance, so you don't have to deal with it all the time (I'm always okay with a little denial), and conviction of character about yourself, you are a good person and you're just doing what you need to do to make it through the day.
There has to come a point in our lives where we're able to stop making apologies just for being ourselves, right?
I also agree with Lady P, being able to talk to a person outside the situation always helps for a reality check.
Thanks Lady P and Tiffany.
Sorry for you situation
I myself am very upfront, bold and to the point. I hold nothing back.
At times it can be a fault but I also believe if one cannot be open and honest
what the heck is the point? It has helped my children grow into good, honest and open
adults and has kept my marriage very stable.
Those in my life that do not like my bold honesty usually disappear for a time but it
has been my experience that said person always comes back and almost always
thanks me for setting them straight and all ends well.
Wishing you luck in your situation
Thank you, Dee Gazzo.
Just be positive and stay strong. It is common for people to get angry and say rude and hurtful things because we did not meet "their" expectations for us. The only person whose expectations you are required to meet, are those that you set for yourself.
Thank you for the advice, Robyne.