Dunno if how I do it is the right way, but if someone sends me a harassing, threatening, or just generally abusive private message, I usually just screencap or copy/paste it and then post the message in public. I've done that quite a few times - including with a couple of people who were stalking/harassing a friend of mine and then started being nasty to me when I tried to tell them that their behaviour was inappropriate. I mean, I used to be kind of creepy fifteen years ago and learned from my mistakes. I just wanted to maybe protect a couple of people like myself with aspergers from going down that road.
First one learned and eventually decided to stop making a spectacle of himself. Second one kept trying to get my friend's Discord # and would go from creepily apologetic to creepy stalker and even bugged me for awhile. Both cases I would often copy and paste the private messages they sent to me and they'd get mad that I posted the logs in public.
I also screencapped some abusive DMs on twitter from some chick who was flaming me for being pro-life. She threatened to kill me (nearly busted a gut after seeing her long rant and then her offer to apologize, which of course she followed up with more flames) and even made a fake account just to tell the world how much I sucked. Long story short, she seems to have lost interest, which is nice.
I tend to not go to admins or mods about issues like that because I kind of pride myself in being a 'big girl' and taking care of petty stuff like that on my own. I don't use my real last name in public and at times I still use an alias due to being rather paranoid about someone finding out my personal info (one of my friend's stalkers actually used a search engine to find out her old phone number). I used to go to the mods a lot back in the early 2000s for every little thing like someone bothering me and such, and I was labeled a tattletale. Wanted to kinda stop being a crybaby tattletale after adopting a new persona in 2006, and honestly, most flames don't even bother me anymore.
In circumstances where the issue is petty name calling or profanity, I tend to roll my eyes and ignore it in most cases provided it's not part of an overarching, and repeat situation.
In cases where it's threats of physical violence, or goes beyond just "harmless" namecalling, I have no issue reporting it. People use the anonymity of the internet to be jerks, and frankly, they deserve the reality tap. Having been a Mod, it's a lot easier for me to use those systems because if someone's a bully to one person, they're probably a bully to multiple people, and where I give no rat posteriors, someone else may take it very personally, and may not be at a point in their life where they're secure enough to invite someone to take a long walk off a short pier.
Name and shame can work in certain circumstances, but it doesn't necessarily improve the 'overall situation' or community. I can appreciate the satisfaction of vigilante justice, but on the whole, it won't change anything.
I see. Problem is, I used to tattle a lot about every little thing and was shamed for it - maybe rightly so. I also served as a mod in a snark community and kicked and banned a few people - some of the bans I regret doling out. And frankly, this chick was so pathetic I think that reporting her would have been a waste of the mods' time on Twitter. She even made an account named 'jennadacaposux' or the like. That weird move just made me laugh and groan more than the average feghoot would.
I agree with Sylvan... (especially with bullying & suicides rates in recent years)
Now in complete honesty about myself, I definitely have those days (when I'm feeling particularly ill or down with my own health issues) that things tend bug me a LOT more than they normally would. So, I guess you'd kind of say my big girl panties don't fit so well some days and it's harder for me to pull them up and move on.
Because of this I tend to be less likely to comment on things that I think could become a volatile conversation. For example (like saying I'm pro-life like you) It can turn ugly really fast and to me... I have enough crap physically and emotionally to deal with in real life than to fight with someone on the internet who couldn't give a crap about me or the issue, really sometimes they just like to start trouble at any cost. So that is why... I've just learned to avoid those subjects online.
If I can see a persons face and we're having a legit convo in real life then I will but not online. (if that makes sense)
When I was in Beauty School MANY moons ago... one of the things we were taught back then was NEVER EVER EVER under any circumstance talk about POLITICS, MONEY, RELIGION, or RELATIONSHIPS. These things would lose you a client faster than frying their hair off and making them bald. LoL
I know it's different nowadays but I've stuck with that theory in life as a whole (unless I really love or know someone well enough to care to discuss it with them).
I see. But this was on twitter and I was just taking part in a thread started by Abby Johnson, and then some pro-choicer tells me she wishes I and all pro-lifers would get raped and die. Yes, she literally said that. So I just put the chick's DM on display in public and there ain't a thing she can do to get me to delete it besides maybe tattling on me to the twitterbots.
I totally hear you... it's ironic because she was definitely stalking a pro-life twitter feed if it was Abby Johnson. Some people just like causing a ruckus though. I think you did right by sharing, it's horrible what she said.
Thanks! Well anyway, that chick who thought it was so cool to flame me has stopped when she realized I wasn't going to really respond the way she hoped - I didn't get pissed off or scream or cry; I just showed everyone how stupid she was acting. Like, never flame me - especially in Private Messages - unless you want everyone to see it.
I have never been harassed or stalked on-line, but I have had people try to get snarky with me through comments on my comments. I just ignore them. Completely and totally ignore. People want attention. They want other's to fuel their fire. I refuse to do so. If they showed up at my house then that is a completely different matter. But on-line, radio silence.
I see. Used to be rather... shrill... whenever someone attacked me online. It was probably hilarious.