Yes Girl!

Description

Pickle Berry Pop June Mystery Box

Journal Reads:
Today is the first day ... for over 16 years I've worn an actual bikini in public and not just a tankini a real bikini. I’ve worn them alone at home of course or just me and close ones.. but today I embraced my body .I’ve always been self-conscious of my body. Having three C-sections ..my appendix..gallbladder and a hysterectomy, my stomach looks like something out of a horror movie. And I got stretch marks..and hairs growing on my belly button..yeah...and my boobs are not perky as they once wore. I was always jealous of those super model moms.. with multiple kids..and perky tits and a flat stomach. Over and over again I body shamed myself. You don't look good. You're a cow. While I focused on my inadequacies I watched bikini mom splash ans have a good time with her kids... wanting to stab her with a fork..for being so perfect. I have a failing thyroid which means I put on over 20 lbs this past year. It has made my self-worth even less. This week I decided I needed to change. I dug out my bikini today and went over to my parent’s pool. In front of their friends and neighbors and just dropped the towel. Was I self-conscious? yes... but I just enjoyed the sunshine. Played with my daughter in the pool and laid in the sunshine. Life's too short not to enjoy the simple moments. And...to my shock I actually felt good in my body. When I let go of the fear and was just myself. I even was told by others I was shining.